Five Ways to Make David More Attractive to Women

Before too much of this summer gets underway, I'd like to run another checklist on the things I have accomplished so far. You see, last summer I tackled the issue of why, in my 19 years of life (I was 19 then you see), I have never had a girlfriend. In accordance with protocol, I broke down and analyzed my situation, and came up with five different ways to make myself more attractive to women. So before I continue with this summer's program, I think it's useful to assess how far I've gotten in terms of achieving these goals:

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1. Become useful

Part of my analysis told me that I possess neither good looks nor charm, nor am I good in bed (at least, I haven't had a chance to try that out yet. Although common sense tells me that to test that out you gotta get someone IN bed in the first place). These are things that I would have great difficulty improving. However, what I CAN work on is my utility and dependability. Having all sorts of skills makes me thus more marketable to women. So far I've learned how to cook and clean, and do just about everything else about the house. And I'm working on other skills, like carpentry and generic PC maintenance (I AM an EECS major after all...I should know this stuff...). Having many skills gives me a plethora of options with which to be cute to a girl.

I can basically survive pretty well on my own these days, which is another extra marketing point. However, so far the only woman this has made happy is my mother (not that I'm complaining about making my own mother happy).

B+

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2. Figure out what to do with my life

A generic goal, but hey, you look better if you know what you're doing right? I know the general direction I want to go (I really love EECS and Physics), but so far have not been able to live up to my intended goal (professor of EECS at some major research university, or a researcher at a major lab). Still, I have acquired a diverse enough skill set that I can still be "successful" in a lot of other capacities (everyone needs a computer/electronics guy right?).

B/B-

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3. Get social skills

Before you get a lover, shouldn't you get friends? My awkwardness has always been an obstacle for me in this capacity. But what can I do, I'm four years removed from being anti-social; I woke up one day junior year in high school and thought to myself, "damn, not having any friends sucks. I should try to be friendlier" It is no surprise then that I essentially started from scratch and now have the social abilities of a four year old (ok six years old. All those years before have to be worth SOMETHING right?).

Over the past year however, I've been putting myself out there more consistently and, as noted in a previous post, have been worrying less and less about embarassment. I'm also nicer to people, and can even call some of them friends! I suppose it all boils down to confidence. I hear chicks dig that.

C-

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4. SLIM DOWN!

My least favorite item on this list. I always told myself that if being fat weren't unhealthy, I wouldn't mind at all. Being roly poly fits my personality better and hey, being fat helps act as a filter to girls who may not be attracted to my personality. Besides, I have the body of a god anyway. Alas, my lack of other attractive traits has reduced me to working on my physique. So far it's been alright. I've lost a significant amount of weight and am just a wee bit stronger. I've still got a long way to go though.

C-

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5. Learn Guitar

I don't really know why I put this here. I suppose it's to round out the list to 5. Or maybe it's to keep up the image of me as an instrument whore. Or maybe, in true David Clarino fashion, the last thing just had to be something really different and fucking random. Learning Guitar it is.

The guitar as a serenading instrument has since been superseded by this instrument played by someone wearing maybe one of these and/or perhaps a pair of these . That just about puts the sexiness through the roof. But hey, I'm old school, and maybe a bit corny. I got a guitar junior year of high school, and promptly forgot about it until I brought it up to Berkeley for the express purpose of accomplishing #5 on the list of Ways to Make David More Attractive to Women.

And what do I have to show for it? I can strum a C chord. Go Bears.

F----------------------

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OK, so these are terribly useless when it comes to making myself more attractive to women. They're still good for something though. I just like to think all of this will make it easier to get with a girl in the end. So leave me alone. Constructive fantasies are hard to come by.

No Regrets